


Fire the Canons

by ladybonheur



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is a shipper, Alya sends Marinette Ladynoir fanfictions, Gen, hell breaks loose, minor Adriennete
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6242986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladybonheur/pseuds/ladybonheur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alya decides that Marinette is ready to enter a world reserved only to true Ladybug fans: fanfiction. Sadly, it seems Marinette is not a shipper.</p><p>Also known as the obligatory meta-fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire the Canons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [napstabrook](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=napstabrook).



> Standing ovation to napstabrook, who came up with the best possible ending for this. And the name of the fic itself.

When Marinette had received the text message with the link, her first reaction had been to rub her temples with a tired groan. Quite frankly, she did not want to click it. Had she been the usual schoolgirl with half of the ordinary life she claimed to have, it would have already been annoying enough to have Alya sending her every single update on the Ladyblog. As Marinette just so happened to be the reason why the blog existed, the ritual had quickly become unbearable.

Whatever akuma she fought, wherever she patrolled, whomever she talked to, she was forced to relive it once again by reading Alya’s posts. She had tried ignoring them once, telling her friend that she did not have time to go through all of it.

It had not gone well.

Since then, no matter how wearisome it was, Marinette had made sure to read whatever Alya sent her. She would be tested on it later.

Deciding that the sooner she got through with it the better, she tapped her phone screen. The browser loaded quickly, revealing a page that, to the girl’s surprise, was not the Ladyblog. Instead, it was a long text – some news report, perhaps? But then again, the website was not of any newspaper she knew. The title said simply _Spotted_.

With a frown, Marinette scrolled down and started reading. The text was describing something about Ladybug – except Ladybug had never done any of what was written.

She did not climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower just for the fun of it. There were too many tourists, it too noisy a place. Nor was that her usual meeting place with Chat Noir – where had they gotten that piece of information from?

Cat pun. It actually sounded like something Chat would have said, except she would have remembered if he had.

What, no, no, she had never said that. She never would.

Wait. No, Chat Noir had never- she wouldn’t have let him. They were saying- Ladybug and Chat Noir-

Marinette dug her finger into the screen with such force it was a wonder it did not break. After three rings, Alya picked up.

“Hi, Marin-”

“WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?”

From the other side of the line, Marinette could practically hear Alya blinking. “Okay… you’re going to have to be more specific.”

“That website you sent me!” Marinette panted, attempting to control her desperation. “Why was it saying those things? Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t- I mean, not that I would know, but- they don’t seem like-”

Her cries were cut off by Alya’s hysterical laughter.

“Calm down, girl!” she managed to say. “Of course that’s not true, it’s a fanfic.”

“Wha- what?”

“Fanfiction. A story created by fans.”

To say that Marinette was baffled would be an understatement. “Why would anyone write something like that?”

“Because everyone loves a bit of fluff. And Ladynoir is so cute.”

“Lady- what?”

“Their ship name.” Alya stated matter-of-factly. “Ladybug and Chat Noir. Ladynoir.”

The next seconds were a bit of a blur to Marinette.

She only realized she was not breathing when she started feeling lightheaded.

She only realized her mouth was hanging open when she felt it dry.

She only realized she was screaming when her mother stormed into the room.

 

* * *

 

It had been a night of many revelations.

Alya had given her a lecture on a so far obscure side of her superhero fame: the fandom.

As it turns out, there were more fanfictions where that one had come from. Unable to take her mind away from the thoughts of strangers around the country (“Actually, it seems they’re pretty popular in Brazil too.” “WHAT?”) writing stories about her, Marinette had stayed up most of the night flipping through them. An overwhelming majority depicted romantic scenarios between Ladybug and Chat Noir. Those that did not included a heavy amount of angst and often the death of one of them in a disturbingly vivid narrative. And some, yet, contained detailed descriptions of what the duo supposedly did in their time alone that caused Marinette to turn off the computer screen and hide under her pillow, face as scarlet as the Ladybug suit.

“It’s not that bad, Marinette,” Tikki said gently, floating down to face her. The girl stared with wide eyes at the kwami, biting her blanket so as to prevent herself from screaming and waking up the neighborhood.

“Bad? It’s catastrophic!” she wailed. “Why would anyone _do_ that?”

“It’s a way people find to show their admiration towards you and your work!”

“ _They’re writing not safe for work fanfiction_!” Tikki tilted her head aside.

“What is that?”

“ _Sin_!” the girl howled, pushing the blanked over her head and ending the conversation.

 

* * *

 

As though the discoveries of the night before hadn’t been enough, Alya was still laughing at Marinette’s reaction when they got to class.

“I can’t believe you thought that story was for real!”

The black-haired’s eyes twitched in annoyance. “You should have told me what it was about first.”

“I didn’t know you were going to freak out like that! In fact, I was sure you shipped Ladynoir!”

“ _Absolutely not_!” hissed Marinette, shooting a murderous glare at her friend. “They’re partners! They’re not romantically involved or anything!”

One row ahead, Nino suddenly turned back and chimed in. “It’s not about what’s canon, it’s about the potential.”

Marinette blinked. She must have misheard it.

“See? Nino gets it!”

Apparently, she had not.

Marinette could not formulate a coherent response, so she contended herself with fuming at Alya. The blogger had her arms crossed and a triumphant smirk on her face.

“Complain all you like, Marinette. The fact remains that they have great chemistry together.”

She scoffed. “Yeah. It’s called friendship.”

Alya threw her head back in a malicious laughter that would make Hawk Moth jealous. “Let’s see what the audience thinks.” She turned to the rest of the class and demanded in an authoritative voice. “Raise your hand if you ship Ladynoir!”

All color drained from Marinette’s face as more hands joined Alya’s and Nino’s. Rose. Kim. Mylène. Ivan. Sabrina. Even _Adrien_.

Sure, it was in a discreet, timid manner, but his hand was still up. The designer could only stare at him in disbelief. However, her classmates’ discussion distracted her from the light blush that spread across his cheek.

“They trust each other with their lives! What could be more romantic than that?” Rose said with a dreamy sigh.

“Oh, please, this is ridiculous,” spat Chloé, rolling her eyes. “Chat Noir doesn’t stand a _chance_ with Ladybug. He’s nowhere near her level.”

Any relief Marinette might have had for seeing someone who did not want a romantic involvement between her and Chat Noir was crushed under her urge to smack Chloé’s head for speaking like that about her partner.

“He _is_!” Marinette shouted indignantly, drawing the class’s attention back to her. “Ladybug and Chat Noir are a team, they balance each other out!”

“So you _do_ ship them,” remarked Kim in a confused tone.

“No!” That discussion was starting to drain her. “They’re partners, best friends, but it doesn’t go further than that! I mean, have you actually paid attention to their interactions? Chat Noir flirts with Ladybug all the time, but it’s never something serious. And whenever he does it, she laughs it off or pushes him away. As much as they are close, she keeps enough distance for there not to be anything beyond that, she traces a line.”

By the time Marinette finished her analysis, she was out of breath and her classmates stunned. The last time they had stared at her like that, she had announced her candidacy for class president. The present circumstances were nothing alike, though, and she wondered if she had gone too far.

Alya was the one to break the silence.

“Wow. I didn’t know you paid so much attention to my videos.” The blogger’s eyes gleamed with pride.

Marinette flushed, her attempts to justify herself turning into stammers until she was cut off by Nino’s snort.

“Gee, Marinette. Now you’ve just ruined Adrien’s OTP.”

The girl stopped and frowned for a moment. She did not remember that term from her lessons the day before. She shot an inquisitive glance to Alya.

“One True Pairing.”

Oh, no.

This could not be happening.

“Nino!” cried an indignant Adrien, whose cheeks heated up even more. “It’s not like that!”

“Don’t lie to me, bro. I saw Ao3 on your favorites, I know what you do with that.”

“You have an account?” Mylène beamed. “I wrote a drabble the other day, I’ll send you the link!”

“I want to read it!” squealed Rose excitedly.

“I-I have some Ladybug fanart…” Nathanaël said quietly from the back of the class.

Marinette felt dizzy. She instinctively placed a hand on the desk for support while more people piped up in the conversation. When she thought things could not spin more out of control, she heard Juleka say in a small voice:

“I ship Ladymoth.”

Marinette blinked.

 

* * *

 

When Marinette opened her eyes, she was met with an unfamiliar white ceiling and a familiar voice.

“Good, you’re awake!”

Not only was she awake, but the way the voice caused her heart to thump against her chest made sure that she would not lose consciousness again so soon.

Marinette shrieked and sat up while waving her arms around so as not to lose balance. It was fortunate that Adrien was not so close to the bed, otherwise an eye might have been lost.

As the girl tried to control her breathing, she scanned her surroundings. It had been a long time since she had last been to the school’s infirmary – 3rd grade in an incident with Chloé and green paint –, but the set of white walls and furniture remained. Her eyes finally settled on Adrien, trying to suppress the blush that took over her face.

“Alya went to fetch some water for when you woke up,” he said with a smile, oblivious to the mental breakdown she was having.

It hadn’t been such a big surprise to find out that Adrien was a Ladybug fan – it was hard to find someone who openly opposed to her activities. But he was a shipper. A Ladynoir shipper. _He read the freaking fanfictions_.

What was he going to think of her? Not exactly her, she admitted – of Ladybug. Still. It _was_ her. It was too confusing. No wonder she had fainted.

Suddenly, Marinette felt a shiver down her spine.

She had _fainted_. In front of the entire class. Because of Ladybug fanfictions.

It sounded a pretty stupid thing to do when other people did not know that she was Ladybug.

Hopefully, no one would ever mention that again and she would spend the rest of her life forgetting it had ever happened.

“The discussing got pretty heated up in there,” Adrien commented, scratching the back of his head with a nervous smile.

Then again, she had never really been lucky.

“I-it was- I- I didn’t know Ladybu- I mean, that everyone was such a fan of Ladybug,” she managed to stutter.

“It caught me by surprise too,” he said with a chuckle. His eyes twitched for a moment in a way that Marinette could only describe as nervous. The girl sent him a quizzical look, which, after a few seconds of hesitation, was answered. “Do you really think Chat Noir is not serious about Ladybug?”

Had it been anyone else but Adrien Agreste, she would have scoffed and rolled her eyes. As it was him, her focus was more directed to not stammering as she spoke.

“He’s not- I mean, he does it all the time. With puns and- it can’t be serious. He just does that to everyone.”

“Not true,” the boy argued in a tone Marinette found slightly offended. Why that would be the case, though, she had no idea. “He only flirts with Ladybug.”

The words were out of her mouth before she could help herself.

“Oh, please. He flirted with me.”

Of course, technically speaking, that would make Adrien’s point correct. Chat Noir did only flirt with Ladybug, in all of her forms. But he did not know that, which was what counted. And neither did Adrien, who, speaking of which, was gaping at Marinette as though he had just been through the greatest embarrassment in his life.

“What?”

For a moment, she forgot how she had gone from discussing the (inexistent) relationship between Chat Noir and Ladybug to telling her crush how another boy had flirted with her. The wonders of being Marinette.

“Ah, it was- hehe- when Nathanaël got- uh- you know- anyway!”

She hated herself for how high-pitched her voice had gotten. Even Adrien was uncomfortable, the blush on his cheeks more pronounced than ever.

“That’s not the point!” Marinette laughed nervously, staring at the door in hopes that Alya would choose that moment to come in. Of course she did not. She must have chosen the farthest fountain available.

Faced with a deadlock, the girl roamed through her mind in a desperate search for a fluid way to change the topic of the conversation. Unfortunately, all of the ways led back to the Ladynoir drama. Besides, she felt like she owned an explanation for her behavior in class.

“I-it’s just-” she sighed. At that moment, her annoyance with the situation overcame her shyness. “They’re people. Real people with real lives and everyone else is making all of these stories without stopping to consider how they might feel about it. It’s… frustrating.”

She did not know a better way to explain her reactions without giving away the whole secret-superhero-identity business. She was not even sure trying to explain _had_ been a good idea. After all that had happened, Adrien probably already thought she was not in the best state of mind anyway.

To her surprise, after a few seconds of staring at her with an astonished expression, Adrien nodded. The corners of his lips curved up in a small smile.

“You’re right. It must be pretty weird for them… But the best thing to do is to ignore it and not let it get in the way of their friendship.”

Sometimes, Marinette could kiss him.

Well. She could not, strictly speaking. But she wanted to.

Perhaps not only sometimes either. That was beside the point.

Adrien truly sounded like he had understood her discomfort with the situation. He was right as well – no crazy fanfiction could ruin what she had with Chat. They knew better than that.

With that subject settled, maybe now she could try to engage in another conversation with Adrien, one that had nothing to do with-

“Wakey-wakey, Ladynoir hater!”

Marinette groaned.

Honestly. Alya needed to work on her timing.

 

* * *

 

Even though it was already noon, Marinette rolled on her bed, not yet recovered from the akuma attack of the previous day. Despite the media’s depiction of it as a brave rescue of not one, but two celebrities – _the fashion emperor himself, Gabriel Agreste, and his son Adrien_ , as Nadja Chamack had stressed effusively –, Marinette could only think of how draining a day it had been.

Well. She could think of other details as well, but she tried not to.

Her cellphone buzzed with a message from Alya. _You will not believe this_ , it said, followed by a link. Distractedly, she clicked it open.

It was a fanfiction – she now promptly recognized the website’s layout. As her eyes settled upon the title and the tags, she frowned.

“Tikki, what’s Ladrien?”


End file.
